Divine Design: God's Unchanging Blueprint for Marriage
Rediscovering Biblical Truth on Marriage in a Culture of Compromise
Rediscovering Biblical Truth in a Culture of Compromise
In a world where marriage is increasingly redefined, dismissed, or abandoned altogether, God’s Word stands unwavering.
The Creator who designed the sacred union between man and woman has not left us without clear direction.
While our culture may produce endless volumes debating the purpose and parameters of marriage, Scripture cuts through the confusion with razor-sharp clarity.
God’s blueprint for marriage isn’t buried in ambiguity—it’s proclaimed with divine authority throughout His Word.
The following verses aren’t merely suggestions but cornerstone truths upon which every God-honoring marriage must be built.
Original Design of Marriage
From the beginning, God acknowledges marriage and its extraordinary oneness in Genesis 2:24. He outlines marriage as “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
This certainly implies a permanent monogamy in design and purpose.
Already, we’re deep into the weeds of our modern culture since the precision of the Hebrew language further defines “wife” as singular and feminine.
This refrain is repeated in the New Testament in Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, and Ephesians 5:31.
The Covenant Nature of Marriage
Marriage is not merely a contract but a covenant relationship with God as a witness.
This covenant aspect is clearly stated in Malachi 2:14, “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
Understanding marriage as a covenant dramatically elevates its significance beyond what our culture recognizes.
Marriage as a Permanent Union
Mark 10:9 affirms the permanence of God’s marriage design: “Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
The stark reality of marriage in America, however, reveals a sobering picture: approximately 41% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce among the general population (U.S. Census Bureau, 2021).
Those claiming to be Christians fare somewhat better, with roughly 28% of first marriages and 42% of second marriages ending in divorce (Barna Research Group, 2020).
Finally, actively practicing Christians who regularly attend church together show even lower rates, with divorce occurring in only about 15-20% of marriages (Feldhahn, “The Good News About Marriage,” 2014).
Limitations on Marriage Partners
The Bible is clear that believers should only marry other believers.
This is not only in 1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband has fallen asleep [died], she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord,” but also in 2 Corinthians 6:14 which reconfirms this limitation “do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers….”
God’s Attitude Toward Divorce
The last book of the Old Testament, Malachi 2:16, expresses God’s attitude towards divorce: “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel….”
Exceptions to Divorce
In Matthew 19:8-9, Christ lays out one of two exceptions for divorce: “He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning, it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.’”
In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul exposes the second exception: “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or sister is not enslaved in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”
Unfortunately, these two often go hand in hand as a non-believer will frequently leave because of an adulterous relationship, yielding both divorce justifications present.
Marriage as a Picture of Christ and the Church
One of the most profound aspects of marriage is that it is a living illustration of Christ’s relationship with His Church.
Ephesians 5:31-32 states,” ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
This divine metaphor elevates the significance of maintaining biblical marriage roles far beyond mere cultural preferences or traditions—it becomes a matter of rightly representing the gospel itself.
Mutual Submission and Respect
Several other verses establish the concept of mutual submission.
For example, Ephesians 5:25 states, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” and Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, be subject to your own husband, as to the Lord….”
A wonderful verse in 1 Peter 3:1-3 further addresses submissiveness regarding an unbelieving spouse: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word [unbelievers], they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, as they observe your pure conduct with fear. Your adornment must not be merely external…but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible quality of a lowly and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
A counterbalance to this concept of a wife’s submission is expressed in 1 Peter 3:7, which states, “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” Paul further elaborates on this concept in Ephesians 5:33, which states, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
Scripture never states that women are to be subject to men in general. However, it does affirm male leadership in the home (Ephesians above and Titus 2:5) and in the church (1 Timothy 2:11).
The Purpose of Marriage for Sanctification
One of God’s designs for marriage is the mutual sanctification of husband and wife.
Through daily interaction, conflicts, joys, and shared experiences, spouses help refine each other’s character. Proverbs 27:17 teaches, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” This principle applies powerfully within marriage as God uses each spouse to shape the other more into the image of Christ.
Prayer and Spiritual Leadership
The husband’s spiritual leadership in the home is a sacred responsibility. 1 Timothy 3:4-5 instructs, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”
This leadership includes leading the family in prayer, as Matthew 18:19-20 reminds us, “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them.”
The Role of Children in Marriage
Children are a fundamental blessing and purpose within marriage.
Psalm 127:3-5 declares, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” God’s design for marriage includes raising godly offspring who will continue to advance His kingdom.
Sexual Purity and Marriage
God created sexual intimacy to be enjoyed exclusively within marriage.
Hebrews 13:4 commands, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
This sacred aspect of marriage provides pleasure, creates unity, and fulfills God’s command to be fruitful and multiply.
The Role of Forgiveness in Marriage
No marriage can survive without the regular practice of forgiveness.
Colossians 3:13 instructs, “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
This Christ-like forgiveness within marriage reflects the gospel and enables the relationship to heal and grow through inevitable conflicts.
Miscellaneous Verses
1 Corinthians 7:5 instructs in marital relations, “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Finally, another loving verse addresses the children of mixed marriages in 1 Corinthians 7:14: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise, your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”
Cultural Opposition to Biblical Marriage
In today’s rapidly changing culture, biblical marriage faces unprecedented opposition.
Romans 12:2 warns, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
As believers, we must stand firmly on God’s Word rather than conform to cultural pressures that seek to redefine or diminish marriage.
Conclusion
Throughout history, we can witness the organization of society via the institutions of Government, Church, and Family.
Is it any wonder that attacking these very structures will bring about the decline of civilization?
As we hold fast to God’s unchanging blueprint for marriage, we honor Him and provide a powerful testimony to a watching world desperate for the stability and love found only in relationships ordered according to His perfect design.
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Thad
Well written!